An Antidote of Loneliness

What is the worst thing compared with the word of "loneliness" ?

I never imagined in my whole life will be associated with all the word of loneliness.
Basically, I'm open, eventually more open to others. But in that case of love, true love, I lose my touch. I lose everything. I have no emotionally bonding anymore.

Our intimacy was at the root of what makes me sick now. Bit by bit, i'm trying to find out more strong sense of connection and community inside my soul. It is hard. The quality of my lives, my survival is declining everyday. I try to make balance with success in my job. It is healing in one short moment, but the need of companionship in my soul beats everything.

Some researchers said that love protects our hearts in ways that we don't completely understand. I agreed, we who felt the most loved and supported are the happy people that always have fitness. If we do, forget all other things that could impact to our quality of life such as not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not drugs and so on.

There will be a simple question then: "Does your wife show you her love?" - Oh My God, Yes, she did but not anymore. How could I answer this question? I know and I do "imaginary" conversation everyday and everynight. Does it enough to become one of the answer? I surely don't know. I missed a joy sms coming to my cellphone, I missed word of "Muah", "Luv u so much", "Paaapppppp"in my Yahoo Messenger... I missed all of awareness word from the one that I love so much.

There is no more understanding of the connection between how I live and how long I live. There is a difficult way to make different choices. Indeed, I always face with no choice of life now. There is no luxuries spending time. There is no value of love, intimacy, compassion, passion, forgiveness, altruism, service in true meaning. I'm not a kind of selfish man. I can do it in my social life, I could be a giver to others, but unfortunately, I have nobody that properly be the special recipient.

In this Ramadhan, all I can do is only to pray to God, give me a hand to rediscover my life. Amin.