life is journey, not a destination 

The two messages from my special friend: Maggie Blake

Amrul, no-one knows the right words to say to you at such a sad time. There is the old cliche' that 'time is a healer' and believe it or not that is the case....the hard thing is that it takes time to get to the stage where you are at peace with the situation and feel that you can move on with your life.

I hope that you have many treasured memories of the fun times that you both shared because it is these memories that will help you and comfort you over the coming period. My heart feels really heavy for you and I pray that you have the strength to get through this difficult time.

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How are things with you? I'm pleased that you have a good network of friends to help you through your low moments.
As I said before, it will take you a long time to get over losing your girlfriend. You will never forget her and I truly believe that she is watching over you every day. She will want you to be happy and not to drag youself down with grief. It's a case of taking one day at a time until the heaviness in your heart subsides....and it will in time.

Fail to prepare is to prepare to fail

This is my famous slogan right now (thanks to Pak Andi for introducing me this sentence!). As I am chasing some new projects, time be not so friendly now... always tight schedule.
It is not easy to be in such condition, while some projects need a high intention I'm also requested (or assigned, I’m not a real boss yet indeed! - lol) to give the best effort to achieve the new ones.

There is no 100% of efficiency and by thermodynamics (Carnot) cycles implies that any heat engine must expend some fraction of its heat input as exhaust, we have to willing the more efforts to get less obvious target gained.

Sometimes we gave it much, but we got nothing at the end. At the other time, for ten questions at our exam, we have to exercise hundreds questions simulation in advance.

At my business, the first significant one is information. Gather maximum information at every angle of our capability from client is a must. How it works? Sure, by communication. Like Nokia advertisement: connecting people; being able to radiate accessibility; seeming approachable. The more you listen and connect, the more likely it is that others will return that attention. Try hard to only reach the center of that client society and minimize peripheral concerning sometime become a good option to reduce in-vain attemption. All of these causes and processes have to be assisted by technical expertise as base of my business.

This competency also required a masterpiece of intuition to predict and simulate the game. It could be reach by experiences, statistics, good brain machine, good destiny, excellent teamwork and making closer step to God (very difficult part)!

The cycle of my project dealed is used to be started from Work Order Process, then Software Purchasing (see that “Purchasing” word, you know it means? Exactly, this software properly to be bought, must be fresh from the oven and ready to use; (afterward requirement: patented already!). This software is built by my team own. This is one of my business, something called “Brain Work”; the main reason that I with my team have to prepare all far from its project initiate as well.

What is the next step? Of course if I get it, I have to make it on-schedule, on-budget, on-correct and appropriate resources with four remarks at every item: actual work; critical remaining work; remaining work and its milestone. But if I don't get it, so be it, it means that now it is not my turn. God only value my determination not the final result. Losableness also gives a bright shine of life.

Janet narration: again, Lian remembrance

As for you my dearest friend Amrul,

Your love story is so sweet and divine. Your love for her and your great faith, could miraculously healed my broken faith of a true love.
It makes me believe, somehow some men do have heart, where here you proudly express your feelings towards the woman you deeply loved.
You express your affection every chance you get or at least as long as the feeling of love lasts.

Lian, as I knew her shortly was for me an impression of a woman carry the symbols of purity, dignity and many other sacred titles.

God blessed her soul eternally and she would smiling down from heaven as one pretty angel.

Let me show you my deepest sympathy and I am genuinely understand your lost and anger.

It's common that adrenalin intensifies emotions, which range from exhiliration to anger, depending on your state of mind and the surrounding situation.
If the atmosphere is irritating, you will likely feel anger whereas if everything is positive, you will likely feel happy.
So, it is up to our self-control whether we let our hormones dominate our emotion or not.
We are able to manipulate our surrounding to be more supportive as well if we want to. So it's your call to cope up.

My attention was back to the half cut. Among your cheering buddies, somehow you would go home with a slightly different perspective of life.

Smileeee... :)

Sincerely,
::Janet::

see http://janethutagalung.blogspot.com/

A tale told by my father...

This is a tale that we'd discussed when I came home last week...

Once, God asked to Gabriel, “ how if I turn you to become human being, how you will pray to Me?”

“O, Lord, you know everything about the past, present and future occurences, indeed this question, You know the answer, “said Gabriel.

“Yes, of course I know it, but perhaps men may not know. So, answer my question, “God implies.

“Well, if I were human being, I will pray to You with 3 ways: first, I will give water to thirsty one; secondly I will cover anyone fault and shame; and last I will help the poor.”

“That’s why Gabriel, I assign you as heavenly messenger to reveal My-Will to My-Servants.”

In this course, we could get a new wisdom: have we did the 3 ways of Gabriel method for exaltation to God? I hardly-believe that 3 ways could help us feel safe and comfort, heaven nature.

From Engineering Physics to Energy Specialist

What is the difference between specialist and generalist?

Forget it for a while...

Firstly, the choice of entering Eng Physics was a despair decision because of no knowledge of it and there was no possible choice suit me at that time. I was fighting at that situation, inspired by "Change The World" motto, and nowadays I get the compatible words: "Impossible is Nothing" for this manner.

Not to be sparkling among the others, I just passed the study properly and naturally. Self-centered goal to avoid any interruptions, I just talked and made discussion of my life especially with Lian and some best friends. Yes, my simply thinking of life is how to get happier in this world with Lian, no more.

The beginning of the story was my practical work at Caltex (Duri) at 2000. My first touch with oil and gas industry with publication article subjected to Distributed Control System. Something major in Eng Physics at Oil and Gas industry. The next step was my thesis that made further leaping at Oil and Gas industry specialist: Design of Human Machine Interfaces (HMI) using Visual Basic.

After that, I was inaugurated from my university. I wanted to marry Lian, indeed. As father and mother advised me that I had to have own money, I started to hunt job.
God bless me, I joined with consultant team of ITB that was going to built a new application in Conoco, one of biggest oil and gas company in Indonesia.
We'd called it Field Data Capture. Weighted on brain work forced us to know better in oil and gas industry practises. This main project followed by another related project as maintenance and upgrade option that always renewed when it was expired. Currently, it valid until next 3 years.

Life is turning, I was invited to join World Energy Council-Youth Symposium. Be Indonesia representative delegation of some international conferences and be speaker of two papers: “Gas Energy Pricing in Indonesia for Promoting The Sustainable Economic Growth" and “Oil and Gas Industry: On-line Monitoring System“, both presented at 19th World Energy Congress, Sydney-Australia, 5-9 September 2004.

These succeed publications allowed me to participate as Team Member of Energy Mix Policy – Indonesia Long Term Energy Planning 2002-2020, conducted by Centre for Energy Information – Ministry of Energy and Mineral Resources of Republic of Indonesia. For industry side, I was asked to be an advisor for Gas Sales Agreement for PT Indonesia Power, in dealing of 90 trillion btu gas purchasing from Oyong Field by Santos PSC, East Java.

As we are still at ConocoPhillips environment and our succesful story of establishing a new system, now we win tender offer for Risk Based Inspection Study at Asset Integrity Division. Prestigious and ambitious project for us. Risk-Based Inspection (RBI) itself is a method for using risk as a basis for prioritizing and managing the effort of an inspection program.

Not quite important that we are also trusted for developing oil and gas allocation engine for new Belanak Platform and entire On-Shore facilities of ConocoPhillips Indonesia.

I am still rolling to learn more in energy issues that always enforces discipline in the planning, strategy and hard work at every single step of project completion.

From My Best Friend...

Amrullah Hakim, or normally I'd call him "amrul", has been a good friend of mine since highschool years in Jember, somewhere in East Java. This energetic and talkative guy has never shown any declinations towards positive activities at our school. We were a match in school organization. It might not be the best pond to learn, but I feel we are good friends since then. We went to the same universities and shared the hostel for some time. From there, I could say that we have built a deep understanding on the importance of life, religions, education, friendship and brotherhood.

He got married with my schoolmate Dwi Lian Muttia few years back. This nice young girl was known as a calm fellow, soft-spoken person and what I felt, as her friend, was warmness of her presence. I rarely have found her had an argument with people. I know the reason: she might have been realized that words must only be pronounced in humble and truthful manner. Simply, I affirm that this couple is a truthful relation too.

As we know, God may have his own will and reason. It's sometimes awkward to understand his reason, but at least we try. His fate may not be acceptable for some people, but nothing we can do about it when it suddenly appears right on our face. All we can do is bow and pray: praise Him so He will give only the best to all of us. It's absolutely absurd. God eliminates someone we love, and we must be prepared for it. Definitely we need extraordinary patient to overcome all the pain.

It's been 100 days that Amrul's wife, Dwi Lian -- our beloved friend, has passed away. Something extraordinary happens: I still feel that she is among us. God may take care of you in heaven.

see http://ariefyudhanto.blogspot.com

In Memoriam (after 100 days) of my beloved wife, Dwi Lian Muttia

This is the moment I think about what I am doing
Who I am choosing?
Who I will love..
This can be such a wonderful moment

Yes, it is snatched away, that you left me too soon
Yes, you did leave too soon
You were the best person any of us knew and I lost everything
I lost the only woman I ever loved

Lost love is still love
Memory...now is my partner. I hold it
Life has to end, love doesn't

I know that you feel my love with you now
Even there, in heaven
You say that: that's how strong lost love can be

Lian, I am still in love with you
I am the one who wants to love you more
I still want to sleep with you, feel calm, like a child
in the cradle of its mother's arm

In The Loss Of Your Wife, by Sagita P Wacik

With Deepest Sympathy, Amrul

Your Wife
Will Be with You, Always

Your wife is yours still,
to love, and cherish,
and hold in your heart...
...for neither time, nor distance,
nor death itself
can touch a love that endures forever.

May the memory of your wife
and the special life you shared
help ease the sadness of your loss.

February 28th 2005

Original saved sms from my L.I.A.N. (at my cell phone)...

"I'm so proud to have you as my man and our love. I'll always pray for tie glory of our love. U're my shining star Amrullah Hakim. Dreaming of U."

"Thank U so much. I'll be the happiest woman if I could be U're wife. That's all I wanna do, TO BE MRS.AMRULLAH HAKIM."