All life is an experiment

Got to complete it later on...

Word of advise from Maggie

Hi Amrul,

Really good to hear from you. Sorry I've been so long coming back to you....been constantly busy at work.

My, you have been very busy on the romance front. All sounds very complicated, what with the 1 girlfriend that you like but brings with her many complications and the other girl being the sister of your last love.

Do you think that you are ready to move on from Lian yet? I know you are trying to but in some ways it seems that you may be trying too hard to replace her. If you did get together with Lian's sister, would that not be too painful a reminder of the love you had and lost with Lian? You did mention that it was kind of traditional to move on to her sister but it does sound as though she is happy with her life and current boyfriend and doesn't feel that you are part of her life plan currently.

There is someone out there for you Amrul, someone who won't bring too many complications with her and who will bounce into your life when you least expect it and, more importantly, when you are ready to move on with your life.

I hope the above doesn't sound too harsh but I would hate to see you get hurt all over again by trying to reach for someone who is sort of out of bounds!

How is work going for you? I know you are a hard worker and you always seem to be in the thick of any project you are involved in. I am working on a few projects at the moment so relatively busy. It's better to be that way though. You feel as though your job is safer when there is plenty of work around.

Have to go now as I'm due in a meeting in 5 minutes. I'm also off on holiday now for a week. We are driving to France tonight.

Take care and catch up with you soon.


Maggie

Never Forget

Been on this path of life for so long
Feel I've walked a thousand miles
Sometimes strolled hand in hand with love
Everybody's been there
With danger on my mind I would stand on the line of hope
I knew I could make it

Once I knew the boundaries I looked into the clouds and saw my face in the moonlight
Just then I realised what a fool I could be
Just cause I look so high
I don't have to see me

Finding a paradise wasn't easy but still
There's a road going down the other side of this hill

Never forget where you've come here from
Never pretend that it's all real
Someday soon this will be someone else's dream

Been safe from the arms of disappointment for so long
Feel each day we've come too far
Yet each day seems to make much more
Sure is good to be here
I understand the meaning of "I can't explain this feeling"
Now it feels so unreal
At night I see the hand that reminds me of the stand I make the fact of reality

We've come so far and we've reached so high
And we've looked each day and night in the eye
And we're still so young and we hope for more
But remember this: we're not invincible and we're only people

Masa Depan...

Seperti dulu, kini pun saya tak berani bicara masa depan. Puing-puing, di mana pun, tak punya masa depan.

Kata-kata ini saya kutip dari tulisan M Sobary. Mungkin ada yang berbeda di sini. Dulu saya sangat punya masa depan. Tapi sudah lebih dari setahun ini, saya tidak berani bicara masa depan. Sama yang terjadi di saya, yang ada pada diri saya sekarang adalah puing-puing, yang tentu tak punya masa depan.

Terasa sekali puing-puing itu ketika dihadapkan pada suatu hubungan antara pria dan wanita. Nyata sekali, puing-puing itu menunjukkan ketidakberdayaannya. Tidak ada lagi yang bisa membuat nyaman, aman dan bermartabat.

Salahnya terkadang, puing-puing ini malah lebih dibuat lebih terpuing-puing dengan sikap yang salah. Lagi-lagi saya beralasan masalah hati, masalah darurat. Saya juga tidak tahu apakah sekarang ini sedang darurat atau tidak. Atau hanya masalah egoisme saja, atau masalah romantisme? Apakah saya terjebak?

Ingin saya sudahi situasi seperti ini. Ingin saya memulai lagi yang baru demi masa depan.

Tapi bagaimana saya mengatur masa depan. Sudah jelas di hadapan saya yang namanya masa depan itu sama sekali bisa unpredictable. Sepertinya memang saya harus selalu berendah hati menerima apapun yang ada dan mengembangkannya dengan lebih baik.